These will be assorted Journal entries I have chosen to display. They are personal and not by any means written eloquently all the time. They are from my daily journal that I write whatever I need to at the moment. They don't hold necessarily, any deep meaning for me, except that they helped to clear my head when it needed to be. Gaps, color changes, separate columns-they all represent breaks in writing-sometimes months, or maybe a day. I have put no dates because I don't use them in journaling-there's no need.
I am empowerment. I am brilliance and
I'm so fucking raw at this point that my every emotion is visible and oozing like an open wound for everyone to see. It's not superiority I feel just overwhelming insanity in the most amazing way. Some think I could benifit from a shrink-not in a condescending way. But I did really lay it out for them. And even when I 'lay it out' for people, they're still only getting one itteration of me; there are so many more. The lies I have facilitated amongst everyone would shock them. Mostly, how I kept it going rather than the specifics of the lies. I'm becoming a total blank canvas when I'm offstage and the insanity that fuels it is like a fucking drug I could imbibe for eternity.
Did you ever walk outside and feel as if you've walked into a new world and at the same time rediscovered a place in your mind, a way of thinking, that used to only exist in your memories...these past few days I have. I have felt a peace inside known only in enlightenment. It is as if I'm looking at the world with a totally new perspective, yet also like I've remembered a way of living that is lost with the child's innocence. I feel as if everything is new and undiscovered to me yet I feel anxious for action to take that I know not what the course of is. I feel as if there is a force pushing me to a destiny that my mind's eye has not yet fully seen. There is a familiarity to every breath I take like I know what is to come. Not a stale reiteration but a beautiful, comforting fate and destiny that puts my heart at ease like it hasn't felt since Heaven
More to come...